My feedback

 

• ‘We strongly recommend you send your manuscript to other agencies’ That was a comment from a reasonably good publisher.

• ‘Witty, A -’ A remark from my year 7 English teacher as she marked my haiku.

• ‘I think this is a great book’  A compliment from a shady publisher that I was warned not to trust. But a compliment is a compliment. 

• ‘You’re funny’ An observation from several people, some previously sectioned under the mental health act. Doesn’t matter, though. 

• ‘Please stop bothering us’ That was a warning from a script sharing site. That one kind of shows my dedication and enthusiasm, right?

• ‘You make an excellent point, it’s ok to be a dick’ That was feedback for my The Supercharged Apprentice sitcom.

• ‘Well done’ A comment from all sorts of people; teachers, doctors after they took blood from me, etc.

 

       My achievements

 

• I once helped design a website for an actress and voiceover artist, who paid me £25.

• I won a small art competition when I was 7, earning me a £25 gift voucher for Toys R Us. (Money was worth more, back then).

• I got very far with the SNES game ‘Mechwarrior’ and earned myself the most expensive mech.

• When I was 10, I solved a maths problem no one else in my class could.

• I once crashed my bike, landed on my head without a helmet and didn’t injure myself. 
  
  Short term goals
   

• Own all albums by The Smiths.

• Complete a moderately difficult Sudoku puzzle.

• Get good with using chopsticks. 

• To finally get my money off the guy who crashed into my car.

• To outsmart a scientist.

• Memorise how many days are in each month, fluently. (Achieved). 
  
  Long term goals 
   

• Finally complete Mech Warrior.

• Own thousands of CDs.

• Stop being silly so constantly.

• To walk ten miles or over.

• To be a respected explorer and discover a new country.

• To capture a leprechaun.

• Earn money.
  
  Interesting facts about me
   

• I once ran over 100 mph, but only for a split second.

• I can gargle without water. 

• At first I couldn't work out how to roll my tongue, but eventually I did. Apparently that's unusual. 

• Most people think 'Transgression' by Fear Factory is one of their weakest albums, but I really like it.

• I could rub my stomach and pat my head at a very early age.  

• I've never sneezed three times in a row.

• I was once exactly 11 years, 11 months and 11 days old.
  
  Interesting facts about my uncle
   

• My uncle built the Miami Mega Jail.

• My uncle invented baseball.

• My uncle's hair grows unusually fast.

• My uncle eats Cornflakes twice a day.

• My uncle is part panda.

• My uncle knows Ringo Starr.

• My uncle's blood sugar level has been described as 'excellent'.

• My uncle once ate a dangerous amount of mints.

• My uncle discovered Southern Italy.

• My uncle is more humble than many golfers.